Wednesday, December 28, 2016

May I Have This Dance?

Take a deep breath, a few even, take a moment to breath and connect with it.
Tender times seem to be all around. I am noticing old wounding and trauma coming to the surface within me and with many whom I am in relationship with, family, friends, clients, colleagues, even brief encounters with strangers. Many of us are experiencing great losses of loved ones, relationships, health; deaths of all kinds. It is being reflected in our outer world at large. In 2016, we have seen losses of many great iconic artists in music, and film, tragedies of war in our humanity, unrest worldwide, a pivotal, tumultuous, and revealing, US Presidential election; event after event, kicking up many old wounds and trauma within all of us.  There is a great amount of us in pain, suffering in fear, while there are many whom feel great expansion of love; it is a beautiful spectrum of colors.

We have fought with each other to greater degree over humanitarian and political issues, as the stakes seem to rise. Monumental, personal connections, and relationships have been severed and lost. Friends, lovers, perhaps family members have moved on, going in separate ways. A great big soup of pain stirring out there, among us, with each other. We are all swimming, drowning, and floating in it.

Perhaps we don't agree on grand issues, or differences within our interpersonal relationships. How aware can you be of your own inner wounding that is triggered by the Other, the catalyst? The Other may be a political figure, or it may be your mom, husband, wife, lover, friend, co worker, or even a stranger, teachers and students of every sort. How awake are you, as you feel anger, sadness, and pain?  How long of a moment can you take to connect within and feel what you're experiencing? Really FEEL IT. It hurts. It aches. It consumes. It wants. It hides. It runs. It distracts. It blames. It cries, and yells. It can shake, and it can plead for you to pay attention to it, to love and have compassion for it, and the Other.  Or, you can turn away from that pain that's deep inside, and look outward to cast it away, on to the Other, only for it to return again, from another, Other.

How transparent you are coincides with how deeply you allow to feel what's triggered inside, own it, and love that fearing, doubting, hurting part of you that just wants your loving attention, to be seen, assured, and to be guided. That Other you are experiencing, is just working through their wounding and healing too, reflecting it back. We are having a dance with each other. A grand waltz of inner and outer transformation.

We have our defenses, the ways in which we protect ourselves from hurting. Maybe its expressed in a need to be right, or a lashing out; instead of just being with our wound, instead of projecting it onto the catalyst that brought our consciousness to the unconscious wounding that's bubbling up.

We all have experienced loss in our lives. Losses of all kinds. As I write this, I feel a vulnerability, hurting and healing heart, beating.  It is tender, it's raw, and it is loving at the same time. When I am able to be present here, it is salvation, there is clarity and grace. The last few years have been a time of exponential growth felt through varying degrees of pain and love.  2016 has been a douse, laced with highs, while intensifying as we move into, 2017. We are growing and evolving.

It seems we are going through the washer right now, collectively, as a human race, broadcasting it within our inner circles.  We are doing this together as, One Mind and Heart, while seemingly separate, simultaneously. We are in an overhaul of healing, at a time like never before in our evolution in human consciousness. Despite the outer and inner chaos, It is all OK. We are All OK. We are Remembering who we Are. We have just forgotten at times while in this pain.

But we can wake each other up in loving grace, we can do it together by loving the pain within ourselves first, creating a greater opening for compassion to give to our self and to the Other, our outer, faithful dance partners. This is the grand awakening I am experiencing, as I sift through lost dear ones from break ups, deaths, or through some tragedy. Life is full of intrigue, suspense, drama, comedy, romance! How good can you dance in these genres, with yourself, and with Others?

We are all dancing the same songs in different ways. We stumble, trip over our own feet, stub a toe, or a foot, step on our dance partner's shoes, or even take a fall to the floor in a big face first swan dive. Or some of us may be quite light on our feet, have a few moves to show and share to make a more graceful dance movement through the song, no matter how off kilter it may be. And of course, we get to experience fun dance partners that dip and spin us, show us the ballroom in great thrilling delight. The dance and the partner experiences vary, we get to choose and learn the next dance after mastering the last one, some come easier than others.  The Dance is the Mystery of what we call, life.

You are not alone. I am with you as I am experiencing something similar. Aware or not, Divine Beings and God, are always present in their loving support for you. The people you are connected to, are with you, no matter the current state of the relationship, you are eternally connected, experiencing the same expressions through different dances. Underneath the pain, fear, anger, sadness, or regret, is Love. Pure Love. This is the open, clear pasture in my heart I am feeling now, as I write these words. To come to this open space in my heart, I acknowledge my pain and hurt feelings. Acknowledge and account for my responsibility in the dance, and love myself through the loss(es). I become more conscious of my pain and awaken to love, free to move more gracefully because the illusion of being without is dissolved, the outer reality is temporary.

We experience loss in every moment because we are continuously evolving into a new form, huge or minute. It's all the same outcome, just different ways of getting there, expressed through pain or bliss. And, when we've explored and spent time enjoying this new pasture of clarity, peace, and joy, we find ourselves in after a healing, we begin another learning path, and dance our way to the next pasture of beginning a new but familiar dance lesson. Beginnings and endings, are one in the same, both involve pain and pleasure, arriving to them.  If you align in the design of reincarnation, this is our soul's purpose that we chose before our embodiment, expressed through the personality, and shaping of our choosing; then during it, as we learn to play the cards we have drawn, dancing our way through it.

I love you so much because I feel this loving connection deep in my heart, from my soul self. It is unconditional pure Loving Truth that fills me up and provides all of what I need to heal the wounding that returns me to this great Loving compassion. When I'm not tripping over my personality's desires that are not in alignment with the soul's love, I am able to let go much more gracefully, not afraid of loss because I can turn to this Love for healing, I am never really alone, even if the outer illusion seems so. From this conscious Love, I am able to turn to my, 'loving adult self,' as I term it, that has taken years of healing to be transformed from, 'wounded child parts,' within the personality.  It is never ending, like peeling an onion, each time getting a little better with the dance, as another layer of a hurtful pattern is played out with myself, and with the Other.

If I have acted in ways to you that have been hurtful, unloving, unkind, or unforgiving, I am sorry. I truly am, and I may stumble again, but hopefully not to the same degree as before. Like you, I am doing the best I can, as I figure it out, waking up along the way, trying to get it 'right.' And I know you are doing your best too; I love and forgive you for it. It's an ongoing process, until we die.  A process of awakening to Love in whatever way that serves us best of our conscious or unconscious choosing.

So, cheers to you, and cheer's to me. Here's to pain, here's to love. They both serve us, and we serve each other in learning through our connection. I love you even if we don't see eye to eye, or no longer share the dance floor with each other, or are currently, clumsy dance partners. One way or another, you have been a catalyst for me to discover a new found love with in myself that brings me to heal my pain, and love more deeply then before. You lead me to the next dance partner(s) to learn another swan song of love for me to experience.

Blessings. I love you, and I thank you for this dance. You are never alone. We are all in this life time together and it is all temporary. Nothing lasts forever, except for our eternal connection with God, to our Self, and eternally to each other. Until we meet again, and again, and again.